Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Some things will never change.

My predictions are on the mark.

It’s so bloody ironic and only I see it.

Certain things, I’m not even going to take into consideration anymore.

Because they are lies, well meaning ones perhaps but still lies.

I kept thinking, can we go on like this? In this never endng vicious cycle?

Wednesday and Friday means many thing to me now.

For being able to spend time together.

For having a place we belong to together, to contribute.

And for being miserable and having to hide it under a nonchalant remark.

Its so bloody ironic isn’t it?

All I want is to get out of this mess but when I finally can, invariably i ‘d leave part of my heart behind.

This is cruelty in its own form.

I hate this.

You tell me its not worth to leave, but staying, you don’t understand how I feel every week, I become so bitter that I’m becoming a shrew. And in staying aren’t we just hurting ourselves when another issue pops up?

It makes me sick.

Here I am vomiting, and yet still unable to get it out of my mind.

What hurts is that no one really understands.
and I cant say.

I think in the course of this two months, I made many many wrong choices, be it due to impulsiveness or grief. I really should stick to my decisions. I’d be a better person that way.

All the what ifs are haunting me.

You kept asking me if im fine.

Im fine, it’s the sadness without the tears.

From this moment on, god please help me to be a stronger person.

I don’t wanna say anything anymore.

If you can see, you can.

Im sick of talking about this issue.

You don’t think im serious right?

Pain hurts, its normal. Just like how the sun rises in the morning everyday.

Lets all move on.

I need a closure.

The sheen is my eye is blinding me.

But still, I smile