Monday, March 9, 2009

Just like how your heart sings, this time it’s too much for me to be able to smile.
I told myself never to look back.
But why are regrets still haunting me now?
It will soon be three winters.

There are so many things that I had wanted to say, so many entries I have yet to post.
But, I need to get certain thoughts out of my system first.

Though, I’d rather die than admit how much the issue bothered me, it’s upsetting me. Though what m said was right, and it’s time to put it behind me, I can’t help but feel hurt. There’s too many things that happened recently and I’m not in the best frame of mind to deal with it. This. This was just the final straw.

I’m battling with myself over so many things and I’m so conflicted. And this, it just messed me up abit more. I had always been easily hurt. That I admit. But after all these years I’m competent enough to deal with it. But this time, my emotions are overwhelming me.

I’m digressing.
I’d deal with that bitter tinge of pain. I always do.
It’s the reality, no absurdity that I can’t seem to get over.
What amusement can one get from giving a person false hope?
No, the word hope doesn’t apply, what can one gain from making a fool out of someone else?
Once again, I’m a victim of myself and my vulnerable emotions.
it is at times like this, when I realize again, how cruel people can be.
I’m astounded at the callousness that people display.

I’m getting rid of the word ‘heartrendingly sad’ from this issue.
When the last tear falls, it shall mark the end of this chapter.
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I wish to go back to the time when, love is still a word in my dictionary.

‘’I love you.’’

It just resounds with a note of falsity.