nostalgia.
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you're at: www.myperfectlies.blogspot.comthe Ms is: Melissa Ng
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sentimental.
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December 2008January 2009
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Friday, December 19, 2008
My favourite quote from twilight has to be what Edward said to bella at the prom,‘‘Is it not enough, just to live a long and happy life with me.’’
That put me thinking.
About how fragile our existence actually is.
Today someone passed away,
Though I could not manage to feel any overwhelming sadness,
Somehow everything just seem to take on a grayish tinge.
Though our relationship wasn’t close and that she had a long and fruitful life already, death, with all its mysteries, can’t help but bring with it unpleasant thoughts and memories.
I had the unpleasant realization once again that life is but a painful farce that can disappear with just a blow of the wind.
For a moment, life seems to be shimmering in its shallowness.
It was a chilling thought, but fleeting.
As a person living in a community, with friends and family, people that you care and give a damn about. It is almost inevitable that your life’s thread is intertwined with many others.
If your life is a tapestry, it depends on the threads that are stitched on it to tell its story and create a beauty that is unrivalled, just because it’s unique.
Our life is exactly like that.
We depend on the people in our life to make up our world.
If everyone person that you encounter in your path in life has a thread in your tapestry, then your design would be rather complex.
The more important they are to you the brighter the colours they will be.
The final result should be stunning.
At this time, all I wish is for it to be able to stay that way, untouched by time.
Alas, this will never be so, just because we are human.
Slowly as time passes, we will all reach a time where farewells are inevitable.
It’s a heartrending and fearful thought.
It chills me to the bone to conjure up the image of a tapestry with the threads broken, and torn out, colours dulled with a sadness almost tangible, all its former vibrancy a thing of yesterdays.
Yet, somehow nothing can be prevented just because we are humans –with no control over destiny.
Coming back to twilight, I suddenly sympathized with both Edward and bella.
Edward, because he would see bella slowly fading away from him.
And bella, just because being a human would mean that her own life thread would soon be gone one day, and always living with that knowledge that she’d never be able to stop the inevitable.
I suppose it was the words –‘’a long and happy life with me-‘’
That got so deeply to me.
How can it ever be enough, and how can you say its lacking?
It was only now in the quiet and privacy of my own company that I can allow myself to feel emotions that I have suppressed for so long.
I miss everyone so much.
Even though everybody is just right next to me, it seems like we are already worlds apart. That somehow bothered me.
To be exact, I miss myself.
I feel like I’ve changed in some way.
Laughing, smiling, giggling. It seems so hard for me now.
Like as time passes, I could only see the world in shades of black and white.
A monotonous drone.
I start to wonder, how many of you truly know me?
Because I’m not sure if I can claim that feat even for myself.
2:27 AM
A sentimental yearning.
A sentimental yearning.